One week ago she stood in the church foyer, greeting arrivals and welcoming them with her typical bouyancy. Today she stands at Heaven’s gate and is greeted by the Savior. Unexpected and shocking for those of us left here to mourn but celebrated by the angels.
We know life is fragile. We know our days are numbered. We know that for each one, an appointed time will come. Still we walk around after it happens, shaken and surprised. In the case of my friend, Tammy, a few days ago we were making plans expecting them to be accomplished. She was only fifty. On the outside she appeared robust, healthy, filled with energy and life. But on the inside she was damaged.
Who could have known that her big, happy, generous heart was about to stop beating? When she called me Saturday morning begging me to come to the emergency room because she was having a heart attack I was a bit skeptical. I was in denial. When the hospital called me a few minutes later urging me to hurry a dose of reality hit. This was really happening.
A few hours later, after heroic effort on the part of the surgeons, she was pronounced a miracle. Speaking to her later in CCU we discovered she had actually suffered a major heart attack two days before. She suspected that was what was happening but talked herself into a bad case of indigestion. She chalked the next two days up to a bad case of the flu. She was in denial. But her dose of reality came quickly when she was slapped on a gurney and attached to a myriad of tubes and monitors.
Her status as a survivor lasted only through the night. Sunday morning she died. The monitors, the doctors, the nurses, the medications – none could override her appointed time. We have cried and verbalized our shock. We have asked why and what could we have done. But there are no answers. In the end we must accept that some things are out of our hands.
The good news is she had made a commitment to the One who numbers our days. Her journey this morning was assured. And even as I grieved today, I praised God that I had the privilege of leading her to Christ a couple of years ago. She knew I loved her and she knew God loved her.
I can’t help reflecting on the fact that most of us look robust and healthy on the outside. But on the inside our hearts are damaged. There is a treatment available. It doesn’t take a trip to the hospital. It takes a trip to our knees. It will not keep us from suffering a fatal heart attack. But it will keep the soul alive after the heart is dead.
We all know life is fragile but we are still in denial almost every day. We live as if we will never die. And that’s okay as long as we die knowing that we will forever live. I pray that’s where you are today. And if you aren’t, you can be. Accept that your heart is damaged by sin. Believe that Jesus Christ died to repair that damage. And ask for healing. It’s that simple.
For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
Cheryl this is beautiful! Thank you for putting it into words. Thank you for living your faith outloud!! I couldnt help humming “I can only Imagine”
Love that song and what it expresses. Do you think she could possibly finally find herself speechless?
She almost did on her birthday but this wont even compare. I kept thinking it asked ,What my heart will feel? Brand new is what I think.
Absolutely. Every fear gone. All past mistakes gone. Heart beating at full power. Lucky Tammy.
I am so terribly sorry for your loss!
So sorry for your loss. I like the way you tied it in to the spirtual side of things. Damage on the inside can be real either physical or spirtual and perhaps the spirtual is sitll the most important because as you said our days are numbered and when it is our time to exit this life nothing will prevent it from happening. I’m thankful that your friend knew the Lord and is now rejoicing in His presence.
Thank you. I am keeping the vision before me of her dancing around heaven.
Cheryl Dale, HR Director Sundown M Ranch 509-457-0990 (ext 423) cheryldale@sundown.org
What a wonderful thought:) Good for you!
What a beautiful tribute to Tammy!!
Thankyou for your beautiful words about Tammy, It is so true that we live in denial always thinking there is another tommorow to change when we need to change today, right now.